Finally finish Michael’s FYP shoot. It is a really good experience shooting for Michael FYP. He is really a good director in terms of his story and manipulating the emotions of his audience. I can feel that this short film is gonna push him further in producing better works in the future. As for me, I am happy with the end result of the shoot. Not 100% good but on an average, I manage to get the visual and mood needed for the short film. Good! Guess camera works might be the way for me after I graduate.

Well, now the next hurdle is my own short film commencing next Thursday. No feel for the moment. No excitement nor nervousness in me. Just simply no direction after my FYP shoot. So what if I finish this short film, I might not want to be a director. I don’t feel a sense of telling a story, except for the documentary and short film that was made mostly because of my mum.

Should I just be a grip and slowly work my way up to a Cinematographer? Or should I pursue in making more films? I hate to live my life without directions… however, sometimes how I hope I can ignore other things and live life to the fullest on my own… doing anything I feel like doing no need to worry about anything… YES! ANYTHING! Seems that I have too much responsibility on my shoulder which I can’t afford to let go, I can’t be selfish… what should I do?

Sometimes I really feel like going oversea and explore, best if I could work in other countiry film industry and make a name for myself. Earning enough to feed myself and enjoy life… no need to stress myself with any other stuff… live a carefree life… travel around as I like… making friends around the world… by then I might in my late 30s… maybe then I will think of returning to Singapore to settle down… Well this are just dreams and I meant it. Dreams that will never become real, because I still have a family to take care of to a certain extend.

Enough of my random ranting… I just need to know I have to finish my short film whatever it takes… Hopes that opportunity will come to lead me my way… I hate uncertainties… but that’s life…

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